Cloud of Unknowing
by TFSyndicate
Summary: Paula Cracker is pregnant, but to whom? 2D or Murdoc?
1. She's back

Beautiful morning on the Plastic Beach. There was no sign of any oncoming pirates all day (Russel must've been doing a good job). Everybody inside was enjoying breakfast in the study, then it was off to the studio to tune the instruments and brainstorm some new material. Noodle was happy to be playing guitar with the band again, although she did miss Russel on the drums. Until he was back down to size (whenever that will be), they were stuck with a drum machine.

Lunchtime. Murdoc's old friends De La Soul were visiting-they were in the studio recording a new track for the album. Meanwhile in the study, Murdoc was looking out the window through a telescope. No sign of the boogeyman yet, but that polar bear and crocodile duo were back. ("That's what I'm talkin' about!") At least they're more entertaining then the seagull and pelican that lurk over by the front door.  
A ding sounded from the opposite end of the study and out from the ele...sorry...lift came Cyborg Noodle.  
"Master?" she said, "There's a lady downstairs: She says she knows you."  
"Uhh...send er in," said Murdoc, without much thought.  
Cyborg re-entered the lift and came back a few minutes later with the mystery woman.  
"Allo, Mehdok" she said a little too quickly. It was a voice that Murdoc thought he wouldn't hear for a _long_ time.

PAULA CRACKER.

For those of you who aren't in the know, Paula was Gorillaz's first guitarist before Noodle. She was first invited to play being 2D's girlfriend at the time. But when Russel caught her cheating on 2D with Murdoc, they kicked her out of the band. They never saw her again until now.  
"If yaw here to apologize to us, beeit me aw face-ache, yaw too late," said Murdoc.  
"Actually," said Paula, "That's not wayyam 'ere. 'ave a seat."  
Murdoc's eyes opened wide. Usually he could see things coming a mi-kilometer away. But he never thought he would be told to sit down. He's _not a house-elf_ , for crying out loud! AHEM. Murdoc sat down in one of the big back comfy lounge chairs that faced the window. Paula sat down next to him and took his hand.  
"I'm pregnant."  
Now Murdoc's pupils shrank. He could've sworn he used protection during that bathroom episode.  
"Wot?" was all he could say.  
"With yew."  
"Ah yew sure?"  
"Actually, it's also something to do with 2D."

2D himself was occupied in his bedroom playing "Su-bo-ku", unaware of what was going on upstairs. He filled up the puzzle board and smiles, thinking he won (he's not even close). He was just about to get up and make for the lift when he saw the doors open to find Murdoc walking out. 2D quickly jumped back on his bed and shiver in fear.  
"Relax," said Murdoc, "I gut sum news for yeh. Paula's here-she's pregnant."  
"Pwegnunt? Wiff 'oo?" asked 2D.  
"We dun know for shur. Mite wanna come upstairs."  
2D was as puzzled as Murdoc. He too used protection when he did it with Paula. And besides, if Paula was pregnant, why tell him now? Something was fishy, he thought. It was as probable as Russel eating a pirate jet whole, which is itself very unlikely to...what? Wazzat? Russel just ate a pirate jet whole? Huh!


	2. Paula's story

Once again in the study, 2D, Murdoc, Noodle and Cyborg gathered before Paula, and she continued her story.  
"Well after I got kicked out of the band, I sorta went around acting like my involvement with Gorillaz never happened at all. The only difference is that my purse is gone," she gave a wicked stare in Murdoc's direction, "I tried taking part in a couple of bands, and tried getting it on with other boyfriends, but none of them really went anywhere. The last time I was recognized as an ex-member of Gorillaz was when that guy came 'round doing interviews for that Ogre book."  
"Aw, I wed that," said 2D, "Wew yew weawwy on medicashun?"  
"Don't you worry about it, luv," but the way she said obviously translated to 'yes'.  
Murdoc handed 2D five pounds.  
"I haven't thought of you guys again until I attended Ian Furelli's wedding, and I spotted Murdoc at the reception."  
"I wos 'iz best man there. Really, did you see do that toast? Wot were yew doin' there?"  
"Datin' the drummer Brian. He could never hold a girlfriend and it showed, so I let 'im go. Anyway, after the reception, I decided to stop by Kong back in Essex to apallagize to everybody and all-especially to Stu-pot for breaking his hawt-but when I got there, it was burnt to a crisp, and the lot was up for grabs."  
That was, of course, Murdoc's doing to pay for the journey to what would become the Plastic Beach, but he kept quiet.  
"Everything was gone...except for a black box you must've forgotten about. Inside was, among other things, Murdoc and Stuart's sperm samples. I was sorry for everything, but I was torn at which one among the bunch I _really_ loved. So..." Paula paused here for dramatic effect, "I took in a bit of both samples."  
2D and Murdoc gasped, then looked at each other. How could Murdoc forget _the black box_?  
"I only have five months left, and only then can we tell if this is Stuart's baby, or Murdoc's."

When she finished, Paula looked up and saw 2D and Murdoc in a cliche wimpy slap fight. 'Classic Stuart', she thought.  
While Noodle went to try and break up the mini-feud, Cyborg walked up to Paula.  
"May I help you to a guest room?" she asked.  
"Oh thank you, miss..."  
"You may call me Cyborg."  
Paula looked at her, then over at Noodle, then back at Cyborg again.  
"You really take on after your mother!" She patter her on the back.


End file.
